Those of you who don't tweet miss some of her most candid moments. This week she came up to me, in a bumbling-about/who-turned-off-the-lights, measured sort of way and then said, How do you like it? I'm all ready for biking:
Mom, could I tell you a gross fing-gee about a little child who's just two?
Yes, you could tell me a gross thing about a little child who's just two. (I am at this point, already smiling in anticipation)
Well, there was this girl who was just two and she sticked both her fingers in her nose, all the way up her nose (she placed her fingers alongside each nostril for effect). So far up, her fingers got cut off from surgery and she bleeded, and she died.
Me (stifling laughter, because this is some pretty serious business): Oh? Where did you hear about this? From a friend? (I should so know better)
Oh no, it was on this show I sawed on TV called "Sad Stuff What Happens to Little People". And do you know what else was on that show?
How did you see this show, I watch TV with you and I've never seen this show? (still straight-faced, I'm such a tease sometimes)
Well you and dad were on your date night and Spielberg was upstairs and Michelle and Nicole were playing with friends and I sawed it. Do you know what else was on that show, mom? This one's not gross, only sad. There was this baby who was just barely four....
Wait, this baby was four?
No, she was just barely BORNed and she touched a forn (thorn) and it went all the way frew her finger and her mom had to get a needle. No two needles. Her mom had to get two needles and stick them all the way under her fingernail to take that forn out and her nail comed off. Isn't that sad?
Yes, that is so sad. (I had tears, people)
At this point I busted a gut. Not to say that babies' fingernails coming off isn't a very sad thing indeed, it is, but you had to see Ellie's delivery. The entire evening went on in this vein, and at one point I looked at Mr. O and said, That little girl right there is our Retirement Plan. He agreed - we'll never get bored with her around.
Which reminds me of this:
And now if you'll excuse me, my ears need a nap.