The Big 4 Oh

I don't know, somehow I thought it would be different hitting a milestone age like 40. Like maybe there would be fireworks and a parade. Or jumping out of an airplane (no, not really) or riding in a hot air balloon...or Ed McMahon back form the dead and on my front porch.

But it was a nice, quiet lunch with the promise of a future getaway, birthday wishes from my siblings and scores of internet wishes for an awesome day.

And just now,  sweet notes from my daughters and some last minute texts from my parents (who, by the way, never ever do that).

All things considered, I'm lucky to be me and to be loved by the people in my life. Life is what you make of it. Mine is half full.

I am a horrible, horrible person

Mother's Day crisis averted. That is all. And I know it was very small and selfish of me. Blerg, do I know it.

Maybe tomorrow I will only be just horrible instead of completely horrible, horrible. Aiming high, I know.

***
Completely jumping tracks.....

Lately, I've seen a lot of heartache and it's got me thinking. I want to know how it happens, where does it start? How do two people make beautiful babies together, love those children deeply and yet drift apart from each other? What first places that wedge between them, what drives it further and further in until they forget the why of their togetherness? Or rather, how does one of them forget and the other holds tightly to something that no longer exists?

Maybe the more important question is how does one keep from forgetting? Is it even possible anymore?