Here we are, the time of year I should be doing my cancer scan - and as one person puts it, my cancerversary. I've already decided not to do another scan until sometime next summer. Sometimes I think I can feel the pressure building back up, pressing against my vocal chords and making it interesting to swallow. I feel the familiar pulsing, a pain like a spike being driven into the railroad track at the base of my throat. And I choose to ignore it because, hey! it's my railroad track.
I admit to having an overactive imagination and reassure myself with the thought that very rarely do people actually die from this cancer so it's okay if I want to take it on - on my own terms. I'm doing my scan when it's warmer and I don't have to think so much. No more meeting with teachers with only half my brain cells at my disposal, it's bad enough when I'm working at full capacity.
In other news, Ty is communicating more purposely than ever. I suppose it's a silver lining on the cloud of his latest medical conundrum. At school, he has a computer program he can use to *tell* us things. It's not perfect, he can only choose from the options that have been programmed for him, but lately he is choosing: "I want to tell you something," then clicking on "I want to tell you how I feel," once there he telling us repeatedly "I'm hurting" or "I'm tired" and he is signing "finished" during every activity but eating and listening to music. I think the next thing I need to program in is the option, "I want to go home."
Normally, he loves school and the interactions with his peers, but this latest hip problem must be a lot harder on him than I thought. He is living on muscle relaxants and pain meds, dozing on and off through his days and having restless nights. I hope this infection clears up and he can have
surgery before Thanksgiving.
I am trying to get into scout mom mode - it's a foreign language. I can tell anything you want to know about cancer/chemo labs or insurance processing, but scouting? it's Greek to me. Spielberg and I are learning it together. I know the window of opportunity for scouting is a short one, and we are hoping to squeak through. Any ideas here for a novice? How to be organized and motivating without being, ahem, heavy-handed?
How do you keep your plates spinning?