Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Fubared, and how

Remember this? From back in March?
Yeah, well apparently it's still broken, and I'm once again relegated to ugly footwear and barred from running. This time it's for three weeks, and if it still isn't healed then it's MRI time to see how many other stress fractures there are.

Dammit, this means I have to get a pedicure (and by "get a pedicure" I mean do it myself). I have had exactly one professional pedicure in 40 years. ONE! I know, right?
Here's the other news. Remember how way back in March I had to get a steroid shot in my neck because my right hand was constantly going numb and my back felt like I was being stretched on a rack? Well, eventually everything was fine and I was relatively pain-free.

Then I kinda sorta fell off the running wagon. In fact I took a big, fat exercise break. I could blame my foot, but that wasn't it. I travelled a lot and I ate a lot and I had a helluva fun time. I also gained 10 pounds, but who's coutning?
I decided to get back on track and began running again, and on my first trip out I felt the tip of my left thumb going numb. Hmm, not a good sign. I figured having been a lump on a log for almost two months had something to do with it, so I kept up the running for a couple weeks.

My back pain came back (which actually stems from my massively fubared neck). You see, when you have 4 disc herniations, canal stenosis, and degenerative disc disease these things happen with no warning at all. You might just sleep wrong one night and wake up unable to turn your head. Fun times.

I received another steroid shot today, and it hurt like a freakin Mother (due to the proximity to nerves that control important stuff like breathing, they don't give you any anesthetic for neck injections). It gave me a headache in my left temple and radiated down under my left shoulder blade. It made me cry (I don't do that at doctors' offices). When I'd come into the clinic the pain had been mostly on my right side, and now it was matching sides. Twinners!

I felt like the doctor was nice enough, but he had been rough during the procedure. I know he probably does dozens of these injections on a daily basis, but I only get them every 6 months. Please doctors, take your time and be gentle ("that's what she said"--sorry couldn't help myself).

Note to self: Next time ask for Dr. W. And yes, there will countless next times because this seems to happen on a 6 month rotation.

Further note to self: Learn how to swim free style/front crawl without drowing. Also, buy a brain bucket for biking. You are only allowed non-impact exercise.

Further further note to self: Re-read this for errors and general weirdness when not pumped full of muscle relaxants.

Note to readers: That white stuff on the back of my neck is not fat, it is skin. Really.


Bebe McGooch said...


radioactive girl said...

I have done tons of triathlons and still haven't really learned the front crawl. I did backstroke/breaststroke for the triathlons. Maybe that's an idea? I hope everything in your body cooperates and that you feel much better very soon!

Kristina P. said...

You have the worst luck!

Kalli said...

yes, but can you still lay out?

that is the most important question

Olivia said...

((hugs)) The fun of being an adult and growing wiser!

Tebbs Family said...

Didn't you used to have a pool and teaching swimming lessons???? Sorry you have to be in pain...

M-Cat said...

Dude! I am so sorry!! And, having many of the same neck issues, I think you may be screwed on the front crawl swimming thing. The breathing rotation killed me and made it worse.

Pool running is pretty sweet though.

SUCKS all the way around. I'm sorry friend

JENNIFRO said...

So sorry! Setbacks are the WORST!

MJ said...

Talk about a catch-22. How frustrating! I wish I knew some easy herbal solution that worked overnight! Or magic words?