9. Fill the water bottle half full, lay it on its side, and freeze overnight - you'll have cold water the entire ride or at least for the first 25 miles.
8. Chew gum to keep your mouth moist. Also use Chapstick.
7. Wear a visor to keep your face young.
6. Wear a helmet just in case (do as I say not as I do, in this case).
5. Thorns are a matter best not ignored.
4. Do not attempt to replace your water bottle with your left hand into your right-handed water bottle cage while going 30 mph. Trust me on this.
3. Wear a great pair of sunglasses to keep the bugs, pollen, and dust out of your eyes.
2. Tuck a tissue in your jersey. Just in case (this I definitely do).
1. And, I'm sure I've mentioned this before: ride with your mouth closed.
