Ellie: Mom, I wanna watch Spongebob SPAREpants.
****
Me: Do you know who sings this song?
Child: No, but you better change it. It sounds E-licked.
Me: ???Whuh???
Child (looking at me like I am the world's biggest moron): You know, like it says on Itunes when there's bad words.
Me: Oh. You mean EXPLICIT?
****
Child: Why are my teeth this color?
Me: I'm afraid it's in your genes.
A couple minutes later, seemingly out of the blue -
Child: So if I stop wearing jeans and go back to shorts, they'll whiten up?
Me: I'm sorry, what are we talking about?
Child: My teeth, you said they're this way because of my jeans.
Me: Ohhhhhh. (realization finally dawning)
Right. So then we had a discussion about DNA and genes.