Sunday, February 22, 2009

So I used to

be really good with little kids. Almost awesome, even. And I don't think that's bragging at all, just an admission.

Now, I'm just way WAY out of practice (can I be more emphatic than that?) I mean, I've only got one of the little variety, the rest are pretty self-sufficient. Just how did I go from holding craft camps and swimming lessons all summer to a complete inability to play buh-tend? I have seriously, completely lost my super powers: my fun-fun-fun fun-fun Tiggerness, my Romper Room voice, my outside the box creativity, my fluency in three year oldese. They're poof! Vamoose! Don't-let-the-door-hit-you-on-the-way-out gone!

Really, I want to know. How did I lose it and where did it go? Can it be found again? Is it even worth looking for?

The kids themselves were darling and wonderful, but I was found severely wanting in the fun/relatability department. It became apparent as I entered the 27th dimension today. You know, the one where your sole purpose is to entertain and enlighten those of the little variety for a period of 45 minutes, but in actuality it stretches into an interminable 3 hours. I admit it, I'm a total wimp. A broken-down, total wimp.

And I may be just a little worried about what kind of grandma I'm going to make. I know that's about 10 years off, but still.

***
One highlight though, during spotlight time a five year old was asked if he were a crayon what color would he be. He very seriously thought it over and then announced, White, so I wouldn't get used.

***
In other news, it was pretty much made official today that I won't be taking home any Mother of the Year awards in the near future. It takes untold amounts of emotional energy (speaking only for myself) to travel into the 27th dimension and so I was at my breaking point when Spielberg decided it was all our fault a certain situation hadn't worked out how he'd hoped. Without being specific, he'd forgotten something very important that is going to hold him back in an area he has only recently decided to care about. Anyone looking for a 14-year old apprentice?

He's a great kid, just a little too much like I was at that age (believe me, I catch the irony in this and know my mother is rubbing her hands together over the karmic justice of it all). Anyway, instead of sympathizing with him, I completely broke in half and turned myself inside out from the toes. The fabric of space-time ripped and I actually became a three year old right there in my kitchen - albeit a three year old with a slightly more colorful vocabulary. Not one of my finer moments.

The above realization is why whenever someone asks us if we're going to have another baby for Ellie to grow up with I break into maniacal laughter, start rocking in the corner and begin muttering gibberish.

Those super powers are sort of necessary, I think.

11 comments:

Kristina P. said...

Maybe I somehow took your baby mojo and haven't realized it! Maybe I DO love babies !!

Roblynn and Rebekah said...

Great post, I can certainly relate. My husband comes to "check on me" when I am working in Primary to make sure I have not beheaded any of the darlings. My five year old is not a normal five year old, so she does not count. I can take my grandkids for a few hours and start kind of melting down. Never thought it would happen. I still have to say the 15 year old can bring out the very ugly though for sure, I can relate to that!

That Girl in Brazil said...

A most fantastical post.

I, too, used to be magic with kids. I was the most sought-after baby-sitter in the ward. (I almost put it on a resume.)

Then I had kids. And the magic vanished, appearing only occasionally with my OWN kids. The rest of the miniature population are faintly annoying to me now.

Loralee and the gang... said...

Wow that little white crayon guy certainly is a deep thinker. Watch for him to do great things one day!
:~D

Elizabeth-W said...

I think I'm tons better than I used to be. I seriously worried before having kids if I could do it.
Did you see the Segullah post on larger families?

Heffalump said...

I was magic with kids until I had my own...
They just know how to push my buttons somehow...

Heffalump said...

You can tell people you are going to get Ellie another puppy to grow up with...

Mrs. Organic said...

If I've lost my ways with the kidlets, just imagine how I've lost it with real puppies....

Kim N said...

That crayon comment is great! I love it.
I think my magic with kids comes in the bipolar variety. I am sure my kids wake up wondering if they will have the fun mom or the crazy mom for the day.

Tebbs Family said...

LOVED the post and especially the writing... I guess we all relate to some portion of that experience and I too, hope the "grandma bit" doesn't happen for 10 years but I'm afraid it will be much sooner than I've planned!

Mrs. Organic said...

Tebbs - thanks, and it's good to see you here. I'm not as worried about being a grandma to the older set, but those little kids just might kill me off before I there :)