Thursday, July 10, 2008

How's about a reunion?

I am going to let you in on a little secret - if you would like to meet someone (who of course looks stunning even on their worst day) whom you have not seen in ages (that means since you have had children enter your life), you need only to do the following:

1. First, sleep restlessly (the more tossing and turning the better, it makes for better hair)
2. Second, arise later than normal due to #1
3. Leaving no time for a quick shower
4. Or makeup
5. Just a deodorant touch up, phew!
6. Hair in pony tail
7. Workout clothes on, maybe even the ones you wore to bed
8. Brush teeth? No way! You want this rendezvous to happen don't you?
9. Have matching child in tow (with runny nose, the boogerier the better)
10. Possibly spill some breakfast on yourself
11. Go somewhere public
12. Forget the diaper bag and need it - really, really bad
13. Now, you or the child should do something embarrassing (pick one: nose, bum, or toes - just an idea)

Voila! You are ready for your reunion. No need to thank me, that's what I'm here for.

An oldie but a goodie, this is my entry for An Island Life's Group Writing Project #1. The theme this time is "How to..." and there's a $30 gift card to Amazon at stake (& cool button to display), so come on! What are you waiting for? Enter already!


b. said...

Ok....first, LOVE THE LABEL!!

second, you sound like you speak from experience? Possibly recent?

and third, You're funny!!

Elizabeth-W said...

It's tempting fate, no?
I drive my child to school most mornings with no bra, no brushed teeth, crazy hair hid under a baseball cap, and an unwashed face. Pajama bottoms and/or top, and whatever shoes I can find. This could be heels I wore to work, tennis shoes, etc. I do it and think I deserve whatever happens next.

Elizabeth-W said...

I wear my sunglasses so no one recognizes it's me.

Mrs. Organic said...

b - thank you & I'll never tell

ew - oh! I forgot about the no-bra thing (yes, boobage must be subject to gravity)that would just about guarantee a 10 car pileup or an old boyfriend encounter. I am not sure there are sunglasses big enough for me.

b. said... time I "just ran to the bank" in my cut off sweats shorts that had holes all up and down the inner legs and crotch. I had a snap-down-the-front-bigger-than-life scrub top on, no bra, (no unders--what the 'h' was I thinking?), I was at the light on my way back home when a little old lady backed into me. I was willing to just let it go and remain in the vehicle and get home, but another lady ran up to my window and told me it was really bad. I had to get out--clamp my legs together and wait for the cops to come and ticket the old lady (who prolly lost her license over it).
Obviously I was scarred almost as much as my car was.

Mrs. Organic said...

b- Gadfrey! That hasn't happened to me, but the closest I've come was attending a wedding reception 2 weeks postpartum and running into an old flame, can you say 'baby fat'?

JustRandi said...

Yes! you've captured it perfectly! And I must say, that #13 is KEY. That's the one that makes it all come together!!
Too funny.

MoziEsmé said...

Yeah - I think that about covers it . . . Great post!