Friday, February 26, 2010

What? It is TOO a medically-recognized disorder

So, Social Tourette's. I am a victim.

Are you familiar with this syndrome? Well, let me give you the 411 (and also ply you with random beachification photos, because technically it's still February and frankly we could all use the Vitamin D) as the young people say these days.

Over the past year, I have tried to force myself to get out and meet people. This is not so easy as you might think. You do not just show up to a blog function (ie, lunch, brunch, conference weekend), meet lovely people, and stun them with your amazing sense of humor/beauty/personality.

Well, YOU might.

I, however, show up, meet lovely people, and proceed to spout random...well random crap. Where one might normally think to respond, What an amazing experience, I'd love to hear more, (or whatever it is that normal people say) I sit in stunned silence...

Actually, stunned silence would be a whole lot better than what actually happens - my brain gets that deer-in-the-headlights look, then my mouth decides to come to the rescue. And out comes some random factoid. Something not at all related (or barely so) to the conversation at hand.

Sort of an attack of the Me Monster only with crap. The random trivia kind. Blerg! EPIC brain-mouth coordination FAIL.

I know I do this and yet have no idea how to stop it from happening. The smartest thing to do would be to stay home and take up Hermit status. Maybe grow my leg hairs out and practice braiding them. Or perfect my pig-calling skills. Or something.

But am I smart? Heck, no.

Apparently, I am determinedly anti-hermit (okay, really I'm anti pig-calling) and so I force myself out there. To those of you who've over-looked my social ineptitude and friended me anyway, I thank you. And probably, I love you. And want to have your bloggy baby.

Too much? Okay. Thanks for telling me.

Soo-eee! Heeeere piggy pig-pig.

Tell me I'm not alone in this.

19 comments:

Kimberly said...

You are SO not alone that reading this post actually creeped me out a little bit. I call it verbal diarrehea. What's maddening is that as I'm sitting there doing it I'm pretty much screaming at myself to stop but I just can't.

When I come down in April I'm hoping for an attack of nerves so severe that it paralyzes my tongue. At least that way I might be able to fool people into thinking I'm a good listener...

The Boob Nazi said...

I think you were just fine at the blog lunch!!!

However, I am also known to saying the oddest things to people when I first meet them, so I definitely know what you're talking about.

Kalli Ko said...

Dude, we've had conversations and you know how I roll on this topic...

Elizabeth-W said...

Neurotic, maybe. Socially inept? Nope.

Kristina P. said...

I am with Julie! You were awesome at the lunch. Poised and not at all verbal diarhea!

Mrs. Organic said...

I keep going to these functions in the hope that some sort of social miracle will occur and I will just be witty and pleasant rather than nervous and obnoxious.

Because I do love people.

M-Cat said...

I have no idea what you're talking about! : )

Actually, my friend, you were fantastic when we met!

Heffalump said...

I talk too much when I meet people. Then in my mind I am screaming at myself to SHUT UP, SHUT UP! But it's too late. Then I feel awkward, then I vow to never socialize again.

Bubbly said...

mom you are so mean
love, cali!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

That just made me laugh. I am so glad I am not alone in this and the fact that you could describe it so perfectly was just so funny. I think we are the hardest on ourselves. Loves Kel

Mrs. Organic said...

Heff - that is the cycle. Truly. I just force myself to break that vow. Are you coming down with Nat? I really want to meet you.

Loralee and the gang... said...

I dothe same thing! Either I say nothing or something really dumb...and I always feel like I'm the stupidest person in the room, whether I say anything or not... What was is that you said that has you all bent like this? (So I don't say it, either!! Cuz I just might!)

sue-donym said...

I don't think you've ever stunned me into silence, but I love that you share yourself with others.

I leave every social function saying to myself "Sue, just SHUT UP once in a while!"

radioactive girl said...

I love that you wrote this. I feel the same way very often!

Karlene said...

I had a lovely time meeting you, says the woman who halfway through the blog meeting at Blue Lemon realized she was THE OLDEST ONE THERE (by years and years and YEARS) and practically went catatonic because of it.

Mrs. Organic said...

EW - neurotic sounds worse (is worse?). gah.

Anonymous said...

Been there, done that, own the t-shirt...perhaps multiple t-shirts. I am trying to convince myself that it is better to speak and be weird than to be silent/boring =D

Lisa

Omgirl said...

Seriously, I have NEVER noticed that about you! I think it must be your imatination. What kinds of interesting facts about your self do you spout? I'd love to hear a list!

andrea said...

Put me on the list. You know very well that I was nervous as well. I also fit into the social tourettes description...I just never know what to say. At least you didn't stop blogging after the function, which, it appears, I have done! So now the people I did meet can't find a thing about me.

Look, I'm doing it now.....my mouth(fingers) are just spouting off unattended.

You aren't alone.