**This was originally posted July 28, 2009 but it fits this topic so well, I'm reposting it for Wordfull Wednesday.
So, seriously, how does one break-up with food? Well don't hate me, but it isn't possible, you sort of need it. The thing is, food doesn't have to be your Edward always giving you chills and making you swoon, I mean what is it with you and the swooning? It could just be your Jacob, your best friend, always there for you with the moral support. Oh wait. Analogy FAIL.
A lot of you may know the last few years have been especially hard/awful/how-on-earth-am-I-going-to-face-this-day for our family. Especially me. I don't do stress very well. Or at all. And between having a surprise baby (whom we adore), thyroid cancer (twice), my son's tumor and subsequent chemo, I let my health take a backseat.
Like the backseat of an airport shuttle van.
It was a very dark time for me, I lost my friends and support system at the absolute worst moment (to their own trials) and retreated into myself. I became depressed and had no mental energy to reach out to others. I felt alone, so very alone. We all have our reasons why we let food become the thing that keeps us going emotionally.
For me, Dr. Pepper and mini peanut butter cups were my best friends. And maybe also the onion rings from Purple Turtle. And the TooWoomba Pasta at Outback. And sadly, I could go on.
Eventually things changed:
I became more able to breathe
Ty's last major surgery was last year
I am currently ignoring my cancer - hey, it works for me
My baby grew up
I actually started leaving the house again and showering on a regular basis
And applying make-up
My heart woke up
And I decided I wanted to change. I want to get in the best shape I can so that if my cancer is still here I can kick its butt on my own terms. My change started small. I began working out with Mr. O, began weighing myself, watching my intake (Weight Watchers points), I used a heart monitor when I worked out to keep myself in the optimal range, and I went on walks. Sometimes, I even jogged. I know! And my body started to like it (well not the jogging). And I added yoga, oh my goodness yoga - so absolutely amazing for toning your body. I still drank soda and ate chocolate.
Then I decided to get serious. That stuff was holding me back. As soon as I gave up the diet soda I lost about 5-7 lbs. Who knew? I do drink Green Tea and get my caffeine that way (baby steps). But I swore off chocolate and ice cream. Which is practically blasphemy.
I may someday let chocolate back into my life, but it won't BE my life.