Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Wordfull Wednesday: Transformation

**This was originally posted July 28, 2009 but it fits this topic so well, I'm reposting it for Wordfull Wednesday.

So, seriously, how does one break-up with food? Well don't hate me, but it isn't possible, you sort of need it. The thing is, food doesn't have to be your Edward always giving you chills and making you swoon, I mean what is it with you and the swooning? It could just be your Jacob, your best friend, always there for you with the moral support. Oh wait. Analogy FAIL.

A lot of you may know the last few years have been especially hard/awful/how-on-earth-am-I-going-to-face-this-day for our family. Especially me. I don't do stress very well. Or at all. And between having a surprise baby (whom we adore), thyroid cancer (twice), my son's tumor and subsequent chemo, I let my health take a backseat.

Like the backseat of an airport shuttle van.

It was a very dark time for me, I lost my friends and support system at the absolute worst moment (to their own trials) and retreated into myself. I became depressed and had no mental energy to reach out to others. I felt alone, so very alone. We all have our reasons why we let food become the thing that keeps us going emotionally.

For me, Dr. Pepper and mini peanut butter cups were my best friends. And maybe also the onion rings from Purple Turtle. And the TooWoomba Pasta at Outback. And sadly, I could go on.

Eventually things changed:
I became more able to breathe
Ty's last major surgery was last year
I am currently ignoring my cancer - hey, it works for me
My baby grew up
I actually started leaving the house again and showering on a regular basis
And applying make-up
We travelled
My heart woke up

And I decided I wanted to change. I want to get in the best shape I can so that if my cancer is still here I can kick its butt on my own terms. My change started small. I began working out with Mr. O, began weighing myself, watching my intake (Weight Watchers points), I used a heart monitor when I worked out to keep myself in the optimal range, and I went on walks. Sometimes, I even jogged. I know! And my body started to like it (well not the jogging). And I added yoga, oh my goodness yoga - so absolutely amazing for toning your body. I still drank soda and ate chocolate.

Then I decided to get serious. That stuff was holding me back. As soon as I gave up the diet soda I lost about 5-7 lbs. Who knew? I do drink Green Tea and get my caffeine that way (baby steps). But I swore off chocolate and ice cream. Which is practically blasphemy.

I may someday let chocolate back into my life, but it won't BE my life.

6 comments:

Kristina P. said...

This makes me actually want some chocolate.

GRAMEE said...

i actually thought onion rings...humm..

Chaney said...

Impressive! Dr. Pepper is one of my "feel better" things. I've been attempting to give it up, I think I will now.

WAY TO GO! And here's hoping your Cancer isn't there. I think I would probably ignore it too.

Chocolate on my Cranium said...

I'm trying to overcome my food addiction to sweets - mostly because I have to at this point in the pregnancy (borderline gestational diabetes). But I'm hoping the next five weeks will help me develop better eating habits that will allow me to quickly lose the extra pregnancy weight after the baby is born.

Emma J said...

I loved this then, I love it now. I love the wit of the words and the waking-up-to-life feel of it. You go!

Mrs. Organic said...

Sweets are a hard thing to give up, so I didn't give them up completely. I have a nice little rule that I can have 3 bites of dessert - I stole that rule from a neighbor of mine who has had 7 (or is it 8 now) children and she looks amazing.

Three bites is just enough to have a taste and not too much to be stuffed.