I'm telling you - you can't make this stuff up

Michelle has been working out rather strenuously to get ready for spring soccer season -- I really admire her dedication -- so I was sure she'd pulled a muscle when she started complaining of pain in her lower right side.

But! This is my family we're talking about, and I'd noticed that she hadn't been feeling all that well for a couple weeks. She'd had a particularly rough day full of teen-aged pressures, my mother heart was sad for her. And then suddenly she was in extreme physical pain, like a switch had flipped. Aaack! I was thinking appendicitis.

I'd had a day full of projects, and caring for Ty (I still had nursing type duties to perform on him) and making decisions for the bathroom remodel we're attempting, and I still hadn't fit in a shower. So I scheduled the appointment and Mr. O took her to the doctor. The doctor walked into the room and decided to send her to the ER.

As a precaution, I showered, reapplied make-up AND washed/styled my hair. This is my insurance/superstition, my fool-proof method of avoiding hospitalization for my kids. Every time I'm ready for an overnight stay, we get to come home.

They immediately hooked her up to an IV and gave her anti-nausea and pain meds. Surprisingly, she doesn't get loopy on pain meds (I mean she should at least get to be a youtube viral sensation if she has to suffer, right?) They also drew labs. Needles are my girl's least favorite thing in the world. She asked if she could be knocked out for the IV placement. (I feel the same way about the dentist, so I totally get it).

Next up, she got sent back for a CT scan. When the results came back they showed that she had a 4 cm (just over 2 inches) ovarian cyst that had recently ruptured. Phew! Still sucky, but not appendicitis. Basically her body should reabsorb the cyst within 36 hours and the doctor ordered her to stay home and rest. An RX for sleep; sign me up.

She has done really well and still isn't back to her normal, happy self, but she'll get there. She's a great girl and a wonderful friend; if ever anyone isn't feeling well she loves to try and find something to cheer them up. I love that she's so thoughtful and sweet. I love you sweet Michelle.

PS Ty had surgery today, and in about 3 weeks we'll know how successful it was.

Just a Word

Remember my ongoing, seemingly resolved face/ear pain issues? Yeah, about that....turns out not so resolved.

I went in for the second part of my surgery and the oral surgeon discovered that most of the bone was inflamed and he scooped (yes, scooped!) it out, freaked out my facial nerve, redid the bone graft, and closed me up hoping that in 6 months I'll be good to try again.

"Huh," he said. "This probably explains a lot of the discomfort you've been having." (Validation!)

I really don't like when medical professionals practically accuse you of lying. He says this sort of thing happens about once every two years in his practice. Could I please to be picking lottery numbers now?

Anyway, this all happened the week before Ty's ER episode, and I looked like a half-chipmunk (being that only the right side of my face appeared to be storing up nuts for the winter). Also, it brought back all of the ear pain and I was only able to fit in one acupuncture session before my acupuncturist left for her two week humanitarian trip to South America. It usually takes three treatments before my ear pain responds and cries, "Uncle!" so I can't wait for her return.

In the meantime, I am stress-eating and sleeping on heated rice bags and generally trying not to be such a cranky-pants. Also, we (and by we, I mean me) were crazy and went ahead with my younger son's pre-scheduled wisdom tooth removal. It's all sorts of fun times in the Organic house these days, but at least I'm quilting again which means I'm feeling half-way human even if I am cranky.

Acupuncture for TMJ and NAET allergy treatment - It's a Christmas Miracle

I don't know why I don't pull out alternative medicine as a front line approach, especially considering the luck I've had with it.

One of my friends has a Master's in Chinese Medicine and happens to live a few neighboring towns over. When my ear was still giving me grief, but before I resorted to going back on pain medication, I called her up and asked her if she'd treated TMJ.

She had and said so far she'd had 100% success in relieving the pain and ringing associated with TMJ. That was all I needed to hear, and even though I remain the biggest skeptic of all, she'd offered me hope. After the very first treatment, the pressure and pain in my face felt intense, but by that evening I was almost pain-free without medication of any kind.

That was 10 days ago. I still have occasional stabbing pain in my ear, but it is amazing what a break from constant pain can do. I feel almost human again. The popping and fullness in my ears is nearly gone. She is also treating me for nerve pain in the tooth next my oral surgery site (it would be nice to avoid and root canal and stop funding the private islands of dentists). I have been able to go grocery and Christmas shopping, go on dates with Mr. O and even (gasp!) cook.

I wish I'd thought of seeing her back in August when this whole thing started. Who knows, maybe we'd have saved enough to take the whole family to Hawaii instead of pouring money into the pit that is my mouth.

Anyway, Nina is wonderful and intuitive and I highly recommend her acupuncture clinic. I'm happy to give you her contact info if you'd like to see her.

She is also treating Nicole and I for allergies via the NAET protocol.

I know.

I'm an even bigger skeptic when it comes to this treatment, but I've read up on it. Even though my brain says there's no way it should work, I've already seen how it does. Have you heard of NAET? Would you consider trying it? Would you use alternative medicine?

For your listening enjoyment (different, but lovely):

Confession Time

Right here, this is where I tell you that I believe in my kids. I believe in them enough to let them learn their own lessons. (Insert small, random diatribe here. Please note my self-restraint). Who's with me? How do you lean? Do you tend to direct/save your kids or let them feel natural consequences (good and bad) while the stakes are relatively small? (Just so we're clear, I don't mean stuff like letting them run out in the street when they're toddlers). Does anyone know what I mean? Am I talking to myself? Preaching to the choir? Also, why does it feel like I'm yelling?

Tonight, Ellie came in looking like a shepherd with a golden headdress. I asked her who she was and she came right back with, "Little Yellow Riding Hood."

In other news, Mr. O has taken Thanksgiving matters into his own hands (my, how I do love him) and we will have traditional turkey day fare. Maybe I will even make pie. I mean there's still 15 hours before dinner tomorrow, why rush things? In related news, if you have a spare pie I know of a good home.

P.S. It's true, I didn't take all the photos on the last post. My kids have good eyes too. I love that they look at the small things in life too. Guess I have taught them something after all.

The thankingest girl

Today I registered Ellie for Kindergarten. To commemorate this special day, we made a sno-cone run.

It's been forever since I had one of those. Have you ever had a sno-cone, mom?

Yes.

I just don't know what to get, I'm so essited.
***
Sno-cone girl: I can make you a rainbow, or a Justin Bieber, or even a Barbie sno-cone.

Well, if you have Mango and Strawberry, I'd like that.
***

And they did have it.

Fank you mom for getting me this sno-cone. It's so dee-licious. Oh, and mom (I believe this is right about when the sugar kicked in). I want to change my name. 'Cause I'm almost six and going to school and I need a more grown-up name. So could you please start calling me Sarah? Fank you. 


Hey mom, I sure am good at saying my fank yous. And amn't I the goodest listener in the family too?
***
I'm going to miss my Ellie when Kindergarten rolls around.

Goblins with a side of irony

First off, I know some people who will appreciate the irony of this biking video. (via Eric Snider)

In other news, I can cross something off my 40 for 40 list. No, make that two somethings:

12. Family road trip

37. Rent an RV

We travelled to Goblin Valley for an impromptu family reunion of sorts. My brother, Chad, is a camping rock star. And so is his wife. They go all the time and they do it up right. He made scones and Peachy Pear cobbler. His wife made a pulled pork roast, Cafe Rio style.

Meanwhile, we roasted hotdogs and cooked Frilis (chili over Fritos). We are so gourmet, I know. (Please to notice: Mr. O and his obliging me in photoing his famous legs. That is some serious awesome).

We hopped goblins, went on  a day hike to explore a small cave and played in the river bank. Yes, it was hot, but Goblin valley is also windy (hence the goblin formations) so it wasn't too bad.

Thank heavens for air conditioning. And bug spray. My natural stuff worked for awhile,  too bad we didn't know the Bounce dryer sheet trick (even though I never use dryer sheets, but desperate times/desperate measures, etc).

We had never rented an RV before, and I have to say that I don't ever want to go back to tent camping. If I could have a dream job, it would be reviewing/testing out RVs and getting paid to do it. Now all I need to do is get famous and have sponsors bending over backwards to make this dream come true. Minor details.

We came back and had one more night with our RVs, so we camped up our local canyon. That felt more like the camping I'm used to--no gnats, plenty of pine and aspens.

Not that Goblin Valley didn't have foliage.

It's just completely different.

So, what vacations are you planning this summer? Are you planning something completely different?


PS I thought of another thing that should be on that list, now I just need two more. Any ideas?

Now where's that fork?

Somebody please find it and stick it in me - I'm well and truly done.

I'm away with the girls visiting my sister before she moves. Yesterday we shopped until we dropped, but with only a few purchases to show for it. Shopping can be so discouraging. I don't mind trying on things, it's the waiting for kids to try on things and hanging all their cast-offs back up. And also the Ellie-wrangling. It wears a mother out.

Here is one of the ways she kept herself entertained. When she first saw these mannequins, she declared, "What?! Pink humans? No way!" And then she asked me to take a whole series of shots with them.

These are the shoes she purposely packed for pool/beachwear. They are both purple and plastic, so of course they work. Luckily the kids had reached their pool max about 10 minutes before some kid had to go and contaminate it with a poo-bomb. Blarf!

Not to name names, but a certain older someone didn't listen to her mother about reapplying sunscreen and getting out of the sun and now she's paying for it. I really wish I'd brought the lavender oil with me, and that I could say "I told you so."

In other news, I did something I haven't done before - I got a spray tan. It was a 2-for-1 special, and due to the rain I'm whiter than normal. I'm a sucker for a deal, and apparently my vanity knows no bounds. 

Dudes, I am all shades of "Orange Lovely." There is a certain learning curve to those things, like really rubbing the barrier cream in well on the bendy, crease-y parts of your body, and not forgetting the part about not washing your hands with water during the first 6 hours. Oops.

I went running today and I don't think there is a flat spot in this entire neighborhood. My workout should totally count for double. 

P.S. The diet is officially blown.

P.P.S. The kids have invented a game that involves batting balloons as they are tossed over the banister and seeing how many they can keep aloft for the longest time. That's a game that will prepare them for life.

P.P.P.S My hair is so ha-yuge from the humidity that I tried taming it with an Amish hairdo. Note to self: leave the Amish 'dos to Kelly McGillis.

A Family Lives Here

Exhibit One:

On the left is a Wandering Jew plant that Tyler cloned in greenhouse class, then we tore off a leaf and cloned it again - that's why there are two plants.

Next is a bamboo heart my daughters bought for me years ago (they took their own money walked a few blocks to the local nursery and bought it - all by themselves without me knowing when they were 6 and 4 years old. Nearly gave me a heart attack). I love it.

Next is a small framed print of Jesus with children. I think it was a Mother's Day gift when my children were little.

Next, Gerber daisies I bought to brighten up Easter.

And finally, pea plants that Spielberg is growing as part of a Biology class experiment. Funny story, he started watering the shortest plant with green tea and now it's completely caught up to the others.

Now all I need is a contribution from Ellie (preferably not the pill bug she keeps as her pet), and this windowsill will be complete.

Join in the fun won't you? And add your "A Family Live Here" entry over at Queen Scarlett's place.

You are here, AND you are in Heaven

This medicine that is supposed to be helping with the numbness has a couple of interesting side effects, one of which is gaining insane amounts of weight (hate) and the another of which is hours long, crazy realistic dreams.

These past few nights have felt like all night movie marathons what with the dreams. One night it was a very detailed dream about Thanksgiving dinner with some friends of ours, another it was me and Mr. O on a trip with someone I've never met (and a couple of her friends) wherein I always ended up cleaning the most disgusting toilets and bathtubs (I don't know, either), and last night's was the most disturbing and interesting of all.

So disturbing, in fact, that I called my mother and made her go downstairs to check on my grandmother at 6:30 in the morning. I will relate a little of it here.

I was at my Mom's house, where my grandmother is currently living. An aunt of mine, her mother, and some friend's of my grandmother came over to see her. They were visiting with my grandma when all of the sudden, my mom jumps up and says, "Your dad told me to get him immediately if this happened."

I turned to look at my grandma and her eyes were closed, her breathing was labored (I understood that this was because her liver was failing). My mom returned, but after what seemed like a long time and I still hadn't seen my dad show up I ran to get him. He looked awful as if he couldn't face seeing his mother so close to dying. He finally comes with me and surprise! false alarm, my grandma was fine.

It was decided that I should take her and my son Ty up to Salt Lake one last time. By myself. With my son who cannot walk and for some reason I decide it would be good to carry him rather than take his wheelchair So we get on the commuter line to go downtown, only it's more like an amusement park ride with canoes on rails. My grandmother sits at the back of our canoe, I in the front, with Ty laying in the bottom of the boat between us. My grandma can tell she's not doing well and starts to climb to the front of the boat. I hold her in my lap, looking back at Ty and wondering how I am going to manage getting all three of us off the boat when we reach our destination.

I continue to hold her in my lap, her head resting against my shoulder while we ride to the top of the hill. When we arrive at our destination, the Bonneville Room (which in real life is not at the top of a hill, but smack in the middle of downtown), the ride passes through the building and I plead with the staff to help me get everyone off our canoe. We lay my grandma down gently on the floor and Ty is up on a couch. They clear the room and my grandma starts to whisper in another language. The staff notices and starts to listen and write it down, they check it on a translation key and tell me what she said. Unfortunately, she lapses into silence and we only caught a snippet of the last little bit.

I think about how I should contact everyone, her children, and let them know what is happening, but I have no phone. A kind woman lends me hers, I call home, but when I look up everyone is already there. I notice my grandma's eyes are open so I tell her my dad and uncle are there.

She has a far away look in her eyes, gets excited and says, "Oh good, George and Stephen are in Heaven!" I look at her eyes again and notice that one has the appearance of a normal eye, but the other has differently shaped pupil and is more intense in its blueness. I tell her, "No, grandma. You are here, and you are in Heaven."

And then my dream continues for another hour or so (with details about some dates, specific people and events and at one point she is standing up and tells those of us present (seen and unseen), "I am here, and I am in Heaven."), and ends when someone realizes she is starting to pass and mentions that they should remove her wedding ring. My aunt N~ reaches over and slides off her wedding band, the life drains out of my grandma, and I wake up.

In a panic. Everything had felt so real. I reach over and see that the time is 6:36 AM, but the dream is so real that I must know if my grandma is okay. So I call my mother, and luckily she is awake (I know I wouldn't appreciate being awakened at that hour), and I talk her into venturing down two flights of stairs to check on her. She is fine.

My mom goes back upstairs to her room, and I tell her almost all of my dream, but there are some parts I've kept to myself and Mr. O.

Do you ever dream like this?

Bonding

One of my goals this year is to take a trip with each of my children to just spend some one on one time with them. We happened to have a rental car this week since our van was in the shop getting repaired from a minor fender bender, so I decided to grab Spielberg and go on a photo trip. I didn't take a picture the entire time, and I didn't mind at all. It was fun to see his mind work.

Mom, I see everything in pictures, in framed shots. My mind is always composing the next photo.


The first night we headed to downtown Salt Lake. Tripod and camera in hand, we hopped on the Trax and off we went. Just for frame of reference, he snapped over 1000 photos on the entire trip so you are only seeing a small sampling.

We met an interesting couple on the Trax. Ramon, as the name tag on his greasy mechanic coveralls identified him, and his girlfriend/wife were dressed ala (modern) Rockabilly style - he with a slicked back pompadour, she with two-toned hair (hot pink and black-as-night) styled in a Rosie the Riveter bandanna 'do and cheek piercings (ouch), both of them wore gauges in their ears. It was standing room only on the train and after a few stops Ramon looks up at my son and jokes about him taking his picture (oh, how I wish he had), I was standing behind Spielberg and said, "You totally should," and then I laughed. This pretty much mortified my son (which means I must be doing my job right).

Ramon piped up, "Have you ever seen Weeds?"

Me: "No but I've heard of it. Isn't that on HBO?"

Ramon: "Showtime. You look just like the lead actress. People think she is this naive housewife, but inside she is this rebellious lady who gets away with all kinds of stuff. She's brilliant."

Me: "Doesn't she sell MJ to make ends meet?"

Ramon, "Yes. She's like our hero." He uses big hand gestures, funny.

I laugh, "I can give you my autograph if you like."

Ramon: "You even have her smile and laugh."

Me, as the train pulls into our stop: "I'll have to look her up, then."

Ramon and girlfriend in unison, looking first at my son and then to me: "It's not a show for kids. No, definitely not for kids."

I tweeted something about how I just got told that I looked like the lead actress on Weeds and I wasn't sure how I should take it. I didn't even know who the actress was. Within a few minutes, I get a handful of responses that I should take it as compliment because she's "hot". (btw, I do not recommend googling the terms "weeds" and "lead actress" with children present - I waited until my son was sleeping that night).

My son said to me, "What a strange family. I mean they tell you that you look like some lady on TV who sells drugs, is that supposed to be a compliment?"

I told him, "They were nice people."

Spielberg looked at me like I am crazy, "Mom, they had gauges and the girl had cheek piercings."

I remind him that those are just expressions of individuality, and that good people come in different packages.

"But mom, do you think he was high or drinking? Who tells a stranger that she looks like someone who sells drugs?"

I just laughed it off. We walked all over downtown for what felt like a few miles in the freezing temperatures, snapping pictures. Once, he tried to capture the full height of a darkened mirrored building, but could not get enough light into the frame. Passersby would stop, look up and try to determine what was so interesting up there, what were they missing? I found it comical. How many of us remember to look up once in awhile and appreciate the beauty of our surroundings?

We hopped back on the train, getting off near the restaurants. I spied a $20 bill on the ground and pointed it out to Spielberg. He picked it up. I told him, "I should make you give it to a homeless person. That's not really yours."

Later, over dinner he commented that he wonders about people on the train, what their stories are, like the homeless guy who was sitting across from that strange family. He took a bite of pizza, "I mean, how did he get to be homeless? Did he used to have a job? Did he do drugs, go crazy? Did he grow up that way? How did it happen? Where does he go at night? Does he try to find a warm building, or just sleep on the bus stop benches?"

Don't try to tell me that teenagers only ever think about themselves.

Get to

You know it can't all be good when the ortho takes one look at your xrays and says, "Ouch!"

Surprisingly things are finally feeling a little better - now I can make it until 4:30 before I feel like dying. I think the acupuncture is helping. Now I get to do two courses of steroids. Fun!

I can't tell you how excited I am that after almost 4 weeks, we are going to get to the bottom of this. More later, I can't keep my eyes open just now.

On forgetting and remembering

Some of you have been reading long enough to know that Ty and I went through cancer treatments at the same time about five years ago. That same year, I made a goal to journal every day, and I kept that goal. It's the only time I never missed a day.

A few days ago, I felt strongly that I should share that time with you. And that maybe, by looking back, I'd finally be able to move forward. Sometimes challenges mould us into stronger people, and sometimes they turn us inward, convincing us that we can go it alone. Entirely alone.

Sometimes we forget who we are and think that God has forgotten us as well.

But it does not matter how small we feel, how angry or hurt we are, or how much we've lost ourselves in the bigness of life, we are never completely forgotten. If we are fortunate enough to catch a fleeting glimpse of our potential we begin to remember, and awaken to a sense of who we are.

I've had a year off from most things religious, and it has been a long, lonely year - one that has swallowed me up. I have felt the pain of desertion, and I have to wonder did I move farther from spiritual things because I felt so alone, or did I feel so alone because of my spiritual deficits?

It is hard to go through major medical issues, and have those you once thought were close friends abandon you. It makes you question everything: what is real, what is only a figment?

The one thing that I know is real is my family, those are the relationships that matter most, and they must be carefully tended, guarded. There is more, but I'm not at liberty to share, so instead I wonder if you'll join me in a year of looking back and maybe together we can move forward.

I'd love it if you'd follow me at Chemo Chronicles, and I welcome any questions or comments.

Bits, Bobs

We've started family read-alouds again. Mr. O read the previous two books: Johnny Tremain and (I don't remember). Now it's my turn again, and I've realized how selfish I am. I like to do the reading, and I don't want to share. I'd like to think it's because it's something my mom did for us and I'm just keeping the tradition, and not that I'm horrible at listening. Since the kids are getting older, we're reading something a little more discussion oriented.

After a short family study time, we say goodnight to Ellie (who sometimes falls asleep before we make it this far), tuck her in, and the older kids grab something quiet to do while I read to them.

We're reading Fahrenheit 451, and I'm doing a little editing on-the-fly, ahem. It's interesting to hear their questions as the story unfolds.

Our next read aloud is Just David - vastly different books, I know.

Tonight we are pushing out the furniture, filling up the air mattresses, and breaking out the popcorn, pizza and root beer for movie night. Sometimes we have fun in this family.

What are you doing to connect with family this weekend?

P.S. All photos by Spielberg

P.P.S. Easy, peasy valentines (and so cute!)

Birthday Monthiversaries

If you've looked at my 40 for 40 tab, you may have noticed number thirty-two: "Make Birthdays more special" - let me give you a little background. I did not grow up with big, fantastic birthday celebrations. We usually got to choose our favorite dinner meal, my mom would make it, and we'd get to take the day off from our chores. Although we each had a couple of big birthdays, it was tough to go all out in a family of 6 kids.

Usually we give our kids a budget that includes their birthday gift and allow them to plan their celebration. It's been interesting to see how they choose to spend their time and money, and I don't think there's anything wrong with letting them still have a hand in planning the festivities.

But in recent years, I've felt a disconnect from my kids. I'm not sure how it happened, but bit by bit I've felt that crack widen to a crevice to a small ravine and I want it to stop before it becomes a canyon or crevasse. Maybe I can trace the origins back to the separation during cancer treatments and surgeries for both Ty and I - all that time away from them, handing off the baton of childcare to Mr. O and extended family - but it doesn't really matter how it began, I'd like to mend it up and build some bridges across the gap.
One of the ideas I have, I know got its start from one of the blogs I read (please forgive me, I can't remember whose). Over the course of the year, we are spending time each month on or about the monthiversary date of each child's birthday with them - on a date with mom or dad or both.

Sometimes that date will be a quick run for ice cream, a dinner out, a trip to the bookstore or library, or sometimes it may just be going for a long walk with Copper. The idea is that it doesn't have to be some big event, but lots of opportunities for reconnections, for bridge building.

Last night was Ty's turn and since he's just had hip injections and is still feeling a bit sore to go out, I put the iPod on the speakers, turned it to Yanni (which I just discovered makes him laugh excitedly) and climbed up on his bed with him. Together we danced to the music, he grabbed my left arm with both hands and bounced it in time to the music, or just held my right hand.

Later, I pulled out a unicorn lollipop and gave him tastes of that alternated with sips of water (through a syringe). When we'd chilled sufficiently to Yanni, I switched over to our old standby Queen and broke out the Dr Pepper. He loved it and kept signing for more, I guess it's a genetic thing - this love for the Dr.

We snapped some photos and then Mr. O climbed up there and we broke out the fireworks app on the phone. You should've seen Ty go crazy with his fingers, drawing all over the place. We really should get him an iPad so he has a chance at seeing his handiwork but I'm afraid I'd have to chain it to his bed to keep the kids from losing it.

It was his night, and I think he had a great time. What do you do to stay connected with your kids?

A few favorites

I love these latest photos by Spielberg







Especially this one

Yesterday, Ty had another hip injection, we should know in a few days whether it "took" or not. We left for the hospital about 7:30 in the morning and got home close to 6 PM. Then Mr. O took the two youngest to the doctor - turns out one is flu-ish and the other has an ear infection.

Even though we'd sat around all day doing nothing at the hospital, I was exhausted. The kids were in bed by 9:15, and I was sound asleep by 9:30 - it's just what the doctor ordered.

Guess what, today is Thursday and that means tomorrow is Friday. I can't think of anything more awesome than that. Can you?

P.S. These photos are pretty amazing. Which one is your favorite?

Highlights

In my experience, don't ever tell Monday to "Stick it" as it will only come back to bite you. Found out I don't have an infection (hallelujah!), but I do have spasms (not so hallelujah). However, the medicine seems to have worked in calming them (back to hallelujah!).

My back problem is due to a couple of herniated discs in my neck. I've spent all weekend plastered up with Icy Hot patches. Ellie hugged me last night and said, "Mom, you smell like a cough drop." She's right, I was rank with menthol. L'eau de Granny.

I remembered that one of my friends has a Master in Chinese Healing Arts, and I'm headed to her office this week for some needle therapy. I am desperately hoping it helps, but if not I still get to catch up with an old friend.

The stars have aligned and Ty was worked into an emergency slot for his hip injection, so back to the hospital for him. Please let this one take.

Oh! We had a minor fender bender which could've been so much worse. Thankfully we were merely clipped rather than in a full on rear end collision. No injuries that we can tell.

I resumed "working out" and danced all crazy like for 500 calories worth in one hour of Just Dance 2. I even topped a few scores, but otherwise I'm going to need lots of practice to beat my girls, not that it's a contest (but it so is).

Today was Pillow Change Over Day, I expect we'll all wake with stiff necks from sleeping on such luxurious, cloud-like comfort tonight. We hold Pillow Change Over Day far too infrequently, but really, it couldn't wait any longer. I even fully stocked the guest room with lovely, fluffy pillows - won't you come stay?

Probably the low point in my mothering today is the fact that dinner was served fresh and semi- warm straight from Panda Express rather than from my very own larder and stove-top. As a bit of an saving grace I did prepare a roast with potatoes and carrots yesterday.

My parents came over to play game of Ancestor Memory Match and to share some caramel popcorn. Growing up Sundays were always caramel popcorn days coupled with watching old family films. This time Spielberg gave a lesson on climbing the proverbial rock wall of life and as all the kids had been recently rock climbing they shared their experiences in choosing the right way and the many different paths one can choose to get to the top. It was a huge hit as a lesson and one this kids will remember. We finished off by breaking out the caramel corn and playing a massive memory match game, learning stories about our ancestors as their respective cards were flipped over.

It was a delightful evening. After the kids were down for the night, Mr. O and I watched glimpses of us on our wedding day. My, but we were thin and beautiful even though our glasses were as big as our faces. And one day we'll be sitting back watching glimpses of our children at their own weddings. Time is just a clicking away.

As an aside: Spielberg took several wonderful photos today, despite the horrible weather and glummy skies.

Vase

Made by my nephew Stephen, enjoyed by us

Can't wait to fill it with a little bit of Spring.

Tada! The Corner

Before:

After:

Now, I know this isn't technically finished, but it's as good as this corner is ever going to get. I'm all set for my starring role on Hoarders in about 25 years. Sorry, honey.

Christmas is finally boxed and put away, the knitting needles and patterns are sorted, the furniture is repositioned, and stuff has been gone through and either thrown away or put away. It all came at a price though, it turns out this is not an easy thing to do while recovering from a big deal hoohah surgery (see also: I suck as a mom, true story). I have strained things in here - in my family, inside of me.

I was snappy and ornery. Actually, downright beetchy. It is like I'm riding the PMS Express as soon as I try to do anything remotely physical. I'm only three weeks into this gig, and I'm so sick of it having me instead of me having it.

I've laid here like a good (impatient) patient and read about 8 books (one of those was even a 600-pager). I'm almost sick of reading. Can it be?

No, I just need to DO something. I need to be able to get out and walk and enjoy the fresh air, no matter how slowly. Unfortunately this valley is full of freezing cold, dirty air.

I wish I didn't screw up so much, I really do. I'm going to apologize and try harder: to be still, to heal, and oh yeah, to just be nice already, dammit!

Alright, moving on. Here is the gift I was telling you about:

My Aunt Moana (who also helps me with Ty and is my right hand these days) made this apron for me. I love it! Please note that I am only 10 days post-op in this photo and I've (mostly) moved on from wearing jammies 24/7.

Well, except for today. I'm too tired to even think about showering. Once again, sorry honey.

P.S. I recommend Matched, The Forgotten Garden, and Tangerine. And since I'll be trying to sit here and be good, which five star books would you recommend to me?

Gratefully, there is only one Monday per week

I know, right? Things are better and looking upper all the time. My days are filled with reading, playing kindergarten, and of course, plumbing.

My pipes are always broken, and it's not every house that's fortunate enough to have a live-in, purple-toothed vampire who happens to specialize in pipe repair. I am a lucky woman indeed.

Well, it's not THE corner, but it's a start

Friday was my first day out and about. Only, not really because a couple of hours probably doesn't count in anyone else's book. We had some legal things to take care of now that Ty is 18, and they were scheduled before my surgery was.

I actually, put myself in a vertical position, showered, blow-dried my hair, put actual makeup on (which was pointless, except that it gave me that little oomph towards feeling like a real girl again). And thankfully, despite having my innards all full of air still, I found a pair of jeans I could squeeze into. Note to self: belts with lots of metal, shoes with buckles and blingy jeans are not friends with metal detectors, duh.

I never did make it through the detector without setting it off, thankfully I looked harmless enough and so did Ty (that guy has got enough metal in his body to power a small country), that they let us go up anyway. Good thing too, if I'd had to remove my jeans I'm not really sure there was anyway I'd be getting back into them.

Everything went well, except there was a delay in proceedings due to the traffic jam caused by pothole repairs on the freeway. But the important thing is that things went well. On the way home we even ventured to make a pit-stop for a burger pick-up. Both Ty and I had reached our out-n-about limits, it was time to be home.

I came home, did that burger some justice, and then crawled back into my stretchy pants and under the covers where I belonged. But this weekend I did manage to wash my sheets (I am sure there is nothing better for the soul than fresh, warm sheets), clean the bathroom mirror and shine up the faucets. It's not the corner, but it's a start. And I can be happy with a start.

All of this seems so trivial in light of other very serious tragedies, both in the lives of people I know and those I don't. I know it is. My heart goes out to those people. I am so, so sorry for your loss. There are no words, only love.