Saturday, November 19, 2011

It's all downhill from here

At least, that is what I'm telling myself. On Monday, I had the worst migraine I can imagine and it only crushed half of my head. I thought I was going to die because maybe I'd had an aneurysm, but I was too embarrassed to go to the hospital because what could they do? I'd used every weapon in my arsenal and the only thing left was a route I didn't want to take.

So that sucked. (I'm not even going to apologize for saying suck, because it sucked with a capital S-U-C-K). But it's all good because I woke up on Tuesday.

Some of these photos are months old by now, but I love this shot from my son's first high school date dance~

And this sunset~

And basically, all things red this time of year~

I wake up every day wondering if things will be better.
Sometimes they are. And sometimes they're not.


But really what counts, is that I'm surrounded by people on whom I can count.

People who love me even if they don't understand--even if I can't understand what the hell is going on. Why must it always "never rain, but it pours"?

Soon Ty will need to count on me, and I'm hoping I've got one more in me. He's having major surgery the week after Thanksgiving. Major, major surgery. As in sporting a body cast for 6-8 weeks after, major surgery. He will be okay, as he always is. He is a fighter and mostly he doesn't complain.

He is a fabulous example to me. I love that kid. I love all my kids. Lately, I don't think I'm good enough at letting them know. Pain is a thief. It robs you of normal you. You put so much energy into coexisting with it that it leaves you worn out, a shell of your former self.

To shell with that, I say. I've got cookie dough to make and eat with the kids. There is no way I have it in me to make Thanksgiving happen, but we can still make memories.


We can enjoy the ride.