Sunday, July 26, 2009

In which we discover that my tag line should more accurately read *Shrinking* and changing at the speed of life.

I just had the wonderful experience of going through my closet and creating a sizable donation pile of clothes that no longer fit and of which I'm no longer willing to store "just in case" because I am NEVER going to wear those sizes again. Unfortunately that means I have only one pair of pants and two hand-me-down skirts that still fit. Luckily I have a handful of t-shirts to rotate.

I'm trying to remember whose blog I read (sadly she no longer posts) that promised it would be worth it to shop somewhere besides Lane Bryant if only you would put the brownie down and step away from the chocolate. Anyway, she was right and I wish I could thank her for the inspiration.

I am not small (yet) by any means, but I can finally shop at regular stores in regular departments. That fact alone has me quite excited. There's a whole lot of variety out there. A whole lotta cute variety.

And something else I've noticed - there is nothing quite like a better fitting piece of clothing to encourage one to pay attention to one's posture. I don't feel quite so frumpy any more, and I actually stand a little taller. Too bad the b))bies are rapidly disappearing - I guess you really can't have it all. At least there is still peanut butter to fall back on.

I am still a little off-kilter because the doctor isn't going to readjust my hormones and thyroid doses just yet and I am taking WAY too much since I've lost nearly 50 lbs since December (apparently I can't do math and miscalculated the loss the last time I mentioned it). I guess I'd rather be a bit irascible and shrinking than depressed and growing.

My goal is to be a size 8 (or dare I say a 6?) by year's end and I actually think it's possible. If you're in the same place I was 8 months ago, please know that it is possible. You can change the way you view food and exercise. You can eat to live rather than live to eat.

Don't get me wrong, I still enjoy food immensely. I am just more aware of what I'm putting in my body. Before, I really didn't give a rat's you-know-what about it. Life sucked, and I felt I deserved food that made me feel good - rich, fatty foods. It was my comfort. I can't explain it (and when I was fatter I hated people who said it - what did they know? They weren't me, didn't live my life and didn't know how absolutely hard it is), but food is not the be-all end-all it once was. Not for me, not any more. I don't want to be the mom that hides from the camera anymore.
In the interest of full disclosure and at risk of total humiliation, here are two pictures. The first is from last August and the other from a couple weeks ago. Please tell me you can see some improvement. Seriously, where did my eyes go, I never realized I had such fat eyelids before.













Can I get a Boo-yah!